5 Writing Redundancies to Remove

1. Phrases with words that have similar definitions, such as “join together,” “free gift,” and “close proximity” — only one word is necessary.

2. “Legalisms”: “aid and abet,” “cease and desist”

3. Words that have already been defined: “ATM machine” (ATM = Automated Teller Machine”); “please RSVP” (RSVP is French for “répondez, s’il vous plaît,” or “please reply”).

4. Phrases that repeat the quality already stated: “oval in shape,” “larger in size,” “shorter in duration,” “a period of one week,” “blue in color,” “6 am in the morning.”

5. Words added to actions that are already implied.

Example: “She nodded her head.”
Revised: “She nodded.”


Quotes

“Redundancy is one of the carnal sins of writers.” ~ Sandy Tritt, Say It Once, Say It Right

“The first rule of Tautology Club is the first rule of Tautology Club.” ~ Seanan McGuire, Ashes of Honor


Comments? Suggestions? Need help? Feel free to contact me.

Michelle Troutman
classywriting.com

5 Useless Words and Phrases to Cut From Your Business Writing

1. are able to

Example: We are able to wash dishes, mow lawns, or do any of your other household tasks.
Revised: We can wash dishes, mow lawns, or do any of your other household tasks.

When you cut these useless words, you avoid using a “to be” verb (“are”) and a preposition (“to”). They bloat your writing. Use them only when they’re absolutely necessary.

2. as well as

Example: The U.S. Department of Agriculture’s MyPlate nutrition guide includes grains, vegetables, and fruit, as well as protein.
Revised: The U.S. Department of Agriculture’s MyPlate nutrition guide includes grains, vegetables, fruit, and protein.

People tend to use “as well as” in favor of “too” or “also,” especially if they’ve already used them, as a way to vary their word choices. They’re good alternatives, but you can also insert an “and” every now and then for better variety.

3. along with

Example: High winds and frigid temperatures, along with snow and ice, make for hazardous winter driving conditions.
Revised: High winds, frigid temperatures, and snow and ice create hazardous winter driving conditions.

Replace these useless words with plain old “and.”

4. there are/there is

Example: There are several action movies released during the summer.
Revised: Several action movies are released during the summer.

In many cases, you can trim these seemingly harmless phrases entirely.

5. in order to

Example: In order to finish processing your purchase, we need your payment information.
Revised: To finish processing your purchase, we need your payment information.

Trim the first few words to the essential: “to.”

Read more about cutting Filler Words in Your Speech at Ivypanda.

Quotes

“The best sentence? The shortest.” ~ Anatole France

“If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.” ~ George Orwell

Nonprofit Fundraising Tips & Creative Nonprofit Marketing Ideas

Andy Robinson speaks at the Focus on Friendraising MANP seminar. At a recent Maine Association of Nonprofits workshop, nonprofit fundraising expert Andy Robinson presented interactive exercises to teach attendees how collaboration can build relationships with donors.

This recap includes exercises to help you improve your own non-profit fundraising and marketing efforts. These nonprofit fundraising tips can also apply to other industries.

Why Donors Give: Building the Case for Funding

1. Name three things your organization does well.
2. What makes your group unique?
3. Market segmentation: Who are you trying to reach (audiences for education, service delivery, fundraising, advocacy, collaboration, etc.)?
4. Recount a favorite anecdote or example that describes the impact of your work.

Good stories have a beginning, a middle, and an end. They evoke emotion, and a visual story connects with people, is relatable, and can be used as a non-profit fundraising pitch; an attendee suggested that board directors relate a success story at the beginning of board meetings to open a discussion with members. Robinson also recommended a “Mission Moment” — a tour of a nonprofit’s facilities to later discuss with members why they’re on the board and why they care about the organization’s mission.

Features and Benefits: What Are We Selling?

One of the greatest mistakes in fundraising for nonprofits is selling features, not benefits.

As Robinson stated, the difference between a feature and a benefit is at the heart of marketing theory; you describe something by listing its features, and you sell it through naming its benefits.

Note the features and benefits of a large spoon to better understand the difference between the two and to sharpen your case and your pitch. The spoon’s features include “the shiny, stainless steel alloy” and its “nonporous” material; its many benefits can range from “easy to clean” to “you can heat it and use it to push up your eyelashes.”

Elements of the Case Statement

Your mission states your purpose. Robinson named famous taglines that imply or state directly why certain well-known nonprofits exist:

1. “A mind is a terrible thing to waste.” (United Negro College Fund; now College Fund)
2. “Together, we can save a life.” (American Red Cross)
3. “When you can’t breathe, nothing else matters.” (American Lung Association)

After the mission, in a case statement, people should list their goals, review what they’ve done so far, discuss board and staff roles, determine a fundraising plan, and attach financial statements from the prior fiscal year and a current budget.

Robinson sees a fundraising plan as helpful for grant writing as an “uber” document to draw information from and as a vision exercise for board and staff to collaborate and learn what they need to do or do more of.  We can be too close to our work to see it objectively.

Pitching Your Project: Meeting With the Funder

In a group of three, each person should play a different role as either a grant seeker, a foundation officer, or an observer, and at the end, critique the grant seeker’s funding presentation.

This exercise helps people develop confidence and clarify their pitches — how they present their work, to develop empathy for the person on the other side of the relationship — the grantmaker — and to improve listening skills.

Robinson suggests that if you don’t know, look it up; don’t make up anything or promise more than you can deliver, and don’t be afraid to ask questions.

Being an Ambassador for Your Organization: Word-of-Mouth Marketing

·         Marketing a nonprofit: more than promotion ·         Multiple strategies = big results
·         Competition: 3,000 messages a day ·         Word of mouth is still the #1 strategy
·         Repetition: the rule of 27 ·         Everyone represents, like it or not

 

Even in the era of social media, the most effective marketing strategy is word of mouth.  Robinson taught everyone how to engage potential supporters, develop compelling messages, and to deliver them effectively.

“Marketing is about being really good about what you do.  You have to be great before you’re great,” said Robinson.  Nonprofits compete with “for profits.”

He quoted Guerilla Marketing author Jay Conrad Levinson’s “Rule of 27”: prospects need to experience a marketing message nine times, and then three times before they act on it.

It’s not enough to send a fundraising appeal through the mail; social media and eblasts are important, too. You want to build awareness, raise money, and increase your power.

Active Listening: What Did You Hear?

Focus less on the pitch — what you say about your organization — and more on donors’ needs and interests.

One person should tell the other a story about a favorite relative or their organization, and then the listener should recount the story from memory. The speaker then gives the listener feedback on what he or she might have missed.

Attendees found stories easier to remember if they were visual or had dramatic elements.

Ask Better Questions, Raise More Money

  • What kinds of questions can we ask that are relevant to our work?
  • Engage people with those questions

Robinson is amused (and occasionally annoyed) by the obsessive pursuit of the perfect elevator pitch.

As he says, it’s all about listening. Good things can happen when you describe your organization clearly and concisely, however, the quest for the perfect pitch ignores one essential fundraising truth: listening is WAY more important than talking. Yes, the best fundraisers are good talkers, but even better listeners. They excel at discovering, and then meeting, the donors’ needs.

If you’re too focused on delivering the perfect pitch, you can forget to listen. Good listening lets you customize your responses to address the interests of your potential donor, volunteer, or ally.

Market Segmentation: Setting Priorities and Customizing Your Message

  • Identify three audiences
  • For each audience: name two things you want them to know about your organization and one thing you want them to DO

To Robinson, awareness campaigns are a pet peeve; he believes all nonprofit fundraising marketing campaigns are about raising awareness.

One Minute of Fame: Crafting Your Elevator Pitch

Many people fear public speaking. If your board or your staff can’t or won’t speak on your behalf, you’ll miss many marketing opportunities. This is helpful when your colleagues need to find the right words to speak about your org. with passion and precision.

Pick your audience and name it; it could be anyone involved in your fundraising campaign: a combination of board, staff, and volunteers.

In a group of five, each person has one minute to deliver his/her elevator pitch: “What you want them to know and what you want them to do.”  Group members then critique the elevator pitches.

Robinson suggests videotaping yourself for practice. It’s not what you learn, but how you apply it.  Effective pitches clearly and concisely tell a story that connects with listeners and invite and inspire action.

Do you struggle to write your content on deadline: grant proposals, blog posts, newsletters, and more? If so, download my free ebook, 14 Ways to Write More in Less Time.

5 Ways to Get Customers to Love Your Writing

1. Edit.  Some of us don’t want others to see rings around our collars or dandruff on our shoulders because we want to leave a good impression. Likewise, the quality of your writing affects your business or organization’s image. Take care to rearrange jumbled words, remove unnecessary apostrophes, add any missing commas, and to downsize letters that shouldn’t be capitalized. It will make your writing easier on the eyes and the ears.

2. Be active. Sentences about actions done “by” someone or something are a sign of the passive voice.

You can’t always avoid the passive voice, but many times, your sentences will be shorter and people will read them more easily if you rework them. Too many sentences in this style can make people struggle to finish reading.

Example: The telephone pole was hit by a car.

Don’t be afraid to enliven and embolden your passages. “A car hit the telephone pole” is shorter and stronger.

3. Omit needless words.  Don’t use two words when one will do. These days, for busy customers, the fewer words, the less time it takes them to read. You don’t need to write a novel to get your points across.

4. Junk the jargon. Or, at least, explain it to those who aren’t in your industry; to them, it is like trying to understand a foreign language. Plain English should be the official language of bureaucrats and businesspeople in English-speaking countries.

5. Maintain your balance. Too much information, especially if it’s disorganized, can confuse readers and turn them away. With a length in mind, it’s better to plan the scope of your piece ahead of time. Use headings and bullet points to separate large blocks of text or use a table of contents to guide readers through longer works.


Quotes

“Good sense is both the first principal and the parent source of good writing.” ~ Horace

“Writing is thinking. To write well is to think clearly. That’s why it’s so hard.” ~ David McCullough


Comments? Suggestions? Need help? Feel free to contact me.

Michelle Troutman
classywriting.com

5 Tips to Activate Your Writing to Captivate Readers

1. An easy way to activate your writing: make the subject of your sentence a noun, not a verb, to add verve.

Example: At Medco’s 3rd Annual Dinner Party, enticing entrees will be served by Tasty Bites.
Revised: At Medco’s 3rd Annual Dinner Party, Tasty Bites will serve enticing entrees.

2. Don’t be afraid to say who did something, or, as above, to make a noun the subject of your sentences. Sometimes people avoid naming the subject(s) because they don’t want to, they simply don’t know who’s involved, or they don’t want to take personal responsibility, which appears timid and causes a lapse into the passive voice.

Activate your writing!

Example: The Best in Show award was given to Dolly Dachshund.
Revised: Champion breeder Dave Diamond awarded Dolly Dachshund Best in Show.

3. We can’t always avoid “to be” verbs, such as “is/are” and “was/were,” but they sometimes weaken passages. With a little creativity, we can spice up bland phrasing and make it shorter and stronger.

Example: Our cakes are decorative and delicious and delight our customers.
Revised: Our decorative, delicious cakes delight our customers.

4. As I’ve shown in the examples above, active writing is more specific writing. Add more details, when appropriate, for more appealing copy.

Example: Check out our new, more sophisticated website.
Revised: Don’t miss our redesigned website, which features exciting new step-by-step how-tos, detailed diagrams, and the Builder’s Corner, where you can share ideas with fellow do-it-yourselfers.

5. Might/may/can/could/possibly — these and similar words show indecisiveness, and in some cases, look weak. If possible, avoid them.

Example: Food pantry donations can be dropped off at Riverton Town Hall.
Revised: Riverton Town Hall will collect your food pantry donations.

Quotes

“Each time I see a split infinitive, an inconsistent tense structure or the unnecessary use of the passive voice, I blister.” ~ Sonia Sotomayor

“Two pages of passive voice — just about any business document ever written, in other words, not to mention reams of bad fiction — make me want to scream. It’s weak, it’s circuitous, and it’s frequently tortuous, as well.” ~ Stephen King, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft